Give Sentimental Items a New Life
Could Project Pocketbook inspire a tough decision?
When decluttering, sentimental items present the biggest challenge. Letting go of an item with associated memories can be especially difficult. This blog post is by my friend Brenda Tringali, a fellow Certified Professional Organizer® and owner of At Your Fingertips Organizing. (https://atyourfingertipsorganizing.com/). Brenda’s post is powerful because she’s honest about her emotions but works through them by envisioning the item’s second life as well as recalling her mother’s values. I know it will be helpful to anyone struggling with the same dilemma.
The Pocketbook
The day Mom passed, my brother and I gathered her belongings. Being the daughter, I automatically assumed responsibility for her pocketbook. I tucked it in a drawer at home. There it sat for months because I didn’t have the emotional strength to go through it or to decide what to do with it. It wasn’t until several months later that I finally had a reason to open that drawer.
At the time, I was living in my hometown. Unlike Mom, I never had the confidence to run for a high school office. But just like my Mom, I became very involved in planning high school reunions years later for my “sisters” at an all-girls Catholic school.
As we planned our reunion, I learned that one of my favorite nonprofits, which typically serves elderly clients, was holding a donation drive called “Project Pocketbook,” seeking donations of new or gently used pocketbooks for homeless women. These bags would eventually be filled with the essentials each woman would need. The reunion committee loved the idea, so we asked reunion attendees to each bring a pocketbook to the reunion. They were thrilled! And then it clicked for me—Mom’s pocketbook FINALLY had its purpose! So as tough as it was, I finally cleaned out Mom’s bag and polished it up for its future recipient, whom I would never meet.
The Reunion:
The reunion finally came, and my “sisters” and I were overwhelmed by the mountains of pocketbooks donated. But we took it one step further. We decided that inside each bag, we would tuck some inspirational words of encouragement. We knew that the day each bag would be opened by its new owner would be an exciting, yet scary day. So we wanted to let them know we were with them in spirit. Each note read:
“If you believe in yourself, anything is possible.”
Miley Cyrus
“The Class of 1976 recently held its 40th reunion, and this pocketbook was donated by one of the fine graduates of this Catholic, all-girls high school which closed in 1996. It was reopened several years later under another name, and our graduates toured the building so we could take a walk down memory lane and see our new and improved school. We found the beautiful inspirational quote above proudly displayed on one of their walls, and we wanted to share it with you as a reminder to believe in yourself. Please know that We believe in you!!!”
Sending you hugs, love, and hope…
The Class of 1976
The Future Recipient:
I don’t know who ended up with Mom’s bag, but I do have a visual. In my mind, I see the back of a woman standing in the doorway of the shelter she called home for too long. I see her standing tall, her head held high and her shoulders back as she proudly prepares to take her first step. She has Mom’s black leather pocketbook hung over her right shoulder and she tightly grasps it with her right hand on the strap (as Mom did). She tosses her head to her right to flip her long hair behind her shoulder. And then she takes her first step out of the shelter toward her new beginning. As I picture this, I feel someone grab my hand, and when I look, I’m thrilled to see that it’s Mom. Now in my head, I know that Mom is gone but she’s really always with me, in spirit, and, I do believe in signs. I believe that Mom was looking down—so happy and so proud to see that someone less fortunate was putting her pocketbook to good use. Mom was also thrilled that I had finally parted with it.
Handling Your Own Sentimental Items:
Do YOU have sentimental items hidden in a drawer, closet, attic, garage, etc.? Do you have too many and want to reevaluate their future? If so, here are some questions to ask yourself about each item. I hope they give you insight into what to do with them.
Can I see this item daily or is it hidden in a space where I can’t see it?
Does it evoke a good memory or a sad memory?
Am I keeping this out of guilt?
Would my loved one want me to keep this out of guilt?
Would my loved one want me to keep this forever?
If it’s part of a collection (china set, etc.), how much do I NEED to keep?
What will happen to it once I pass?
Am I burdening my loved ones by leaving this for them to deal with when I pass?
Do I want to be in control of its future while I’m alive, or do I trust my loved ones to honor my intentions when I pass?
Are there people in need that this could help?
My Answers:
As I reviewed these questions, the last one really struck home. Mom was a giver. I know she wouldn’t want me to hang on to her pocketbook. I know that when she no longer wanted or needed it, she would have given it to someone less fortunate. Asking myself these questions made my decision so much easier .
Summary:
I can relate to my sentimental clients. Because I’m nostalgic, I find it difficult to part with certain items, just as they do. And because I’m eco-conscious, my goal is to keep as many items out of the landfill as possible.
When I help clients declutter, many are tempted to throw away an item instead of donating it because they feel it’s too old or worn. I remind them that to those less fortunate, it’s the symbol of a new beginning. So please donate your items to those in need. As they say, one woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure.
Many thanks to Brenda for sharing her post. Although I’ve written about this topic before, Brenda’s list of questions to ask yourself about an item are especially insightful. I hope you find them helpful as you make decisions about sentimental items.