Letting Go of the Past and the Maybe: Conquering Identity and Aspirational Clutter
What do all these items have in common? Read on to find out!
The topic of clutter is almost limitless. Although I’ve written articles about decluttering for seven years, I’ve never come close to exhausting the subject. It’s relentless and diverse with a multitude of causes and consequences.
A few months ago, I began a series about categories of physical clutter. In the first article in the series, I listed the major clutter categories and then discussed homeless clutter (objects that clutter surfaces because they don’t have established homes) and informational clutter (anything we keep that we believe we might need to refer to later). In the next article, I discussed practical clutter, objects that are useful, but we simply have more than we need. If you haven’t read those articles, you can find them on my website (shipshape.solutions/blog).
In this article, I’m addressing two related categories—identity clutter and aspirational clutter. Both types are associated with how we think of ourselves, either in the past or in the future.
Identity Clutter: Who I Was
The most difficult things for me to declutter were my high school and college athletic awards. I played volleyball, basketball, and softball in high school, and volleyball in college. Over the years I accumulated many trophies, plaques, and ribbons for accomplishments in sports. Early in my adult life, they were displayed in my home. But soon they were relegated to a storage bin in the attic and only viewed rarely.
These awards are a perfect example of identity clutter. Julie Bestry of Best Results Organizing defines identity clutter as “items that people hold onto out of fear of becoming unmoored from their identities.” The awards meant a lot to me because I had worked hard to earn them. They were a huge part of who I was. However, they weren’t necessary for me in the present nor part of who I would be in the future. In fact, they were cluttering spaces that could have been used for more relevant items.
I often advise people to ask themselves two questions to determine whether or not an item is clutter: Do I love it? and Do I use it? When looking at my athletic awards, I would answer “yes” to the first question (Do I love it?). But clearly the answer to the second question (Do I use it?) was an emphatic “no.” I finally decided that it was time to let them go, and after taking pictures, I donated them.
Do you have similar items from your past that you need to let go? Holding on longer than necessary keeps us in the past, and it takes up room that could be devoted to current or future activities. If you’re not able to answer both questions about those items with a resounding “yes,” you should strongly consider letting them go.
Aspirational Clutter: Who I Want to Be
Aspirational clutter can be defined as items you accumulate to support a hobby you intend to do, but never actually do. These aspirational items epitomize grand plans for who you want to be and how you want to improve your life. The variety of objects that can be classified this way is immense. Here are a few examples:
Exercise equipment and fitness devices: We’ve all heard the classic example of treadmills that hold clothes instead of being used to walk or run. But this can also include dumbbells, ab rollers, stationary bikes, fitness trackers, and more. We may have great aspirations, but if we don’t use the equipment, it just clutters our space.
Arts and craft supplies: Our homes can quickly fill up with scrapbooking supplies, yarn, woodworking equipment, paint, etc. We may say, “I should get those out and start working on that craft.” But we don’t. Then we feel guilty because of the money we spent. Or we hang on because we think soon we’ll have more time. But we usually don’t. It’s an endless cycle.
Outdoor gear: Ever known someone who bought tents, a camp stove, backpacks, and a hammock but never actually got out into the great outdoors to use them? If you’re not a camping kind of person, it’s ok. Just admit the truth and let the stuff go.
Cooking equipment: Air fryers, cake decorating supplies, spiralizers, and woks can be wonderful items to add to your kitchen repertoire, but if you don’t use them, they’re just taking up space. If you’re the kind of person who orders from DoorDash most evenings or eats frozen dinners, just admit it, and let them go to someone who will use them.
I could go on and on with other examples like musical instruments, language learning tools, photography equipment, and more. The common denominator is that they are clutter not because they aren’t worthy items, but because they’re not being used. Keeping them because you spent good money on them only leads to more guilt. Keeping them because you “should” use them or because someday maybe you’ll have time to use them almost never pans out.
How Do I Let Go?
If you’ve got identity clutter or aspirational clutter, how can you let go? Try following these steps:
Separate the memories. When it comes to the items that represent us in the past, don’t let fear of losing the memories be the trump card that makes your decision. While looking at the item may bring back memories, the memories aren’t literally attached to the object. The memories exist independently, “stored” in our minds and in our hearts. You don’t have to hold onto the object to hold onto the memory. If it’s helpful, take a picture of the object, or write down or record the story associated with it.
Be honest with yourself. As far as aspirational items, be realistic about whether you’ll ever really use them. Does it make sense for your future? Don’t let the “shoulds” of guilt stop you from making a logical decision. If you spent money on something but know you won’t use it, forgive yourself and move on. We’ve all done it. Guilt alone isn’t a worthy reason to keep something.
Envision another life for the items. With either category, the items are going unused. So imagine someone else really enjoying them. Envision someone training for a race using your treadmill that’s become a clothes hanger. Picture a crafter joyfully making a scarf from the yarn you’ve been storing for years. Visualize a family making memories on their first camping trip together with the equipment that’s been gathering dust in your basement.
I hope you find these tips helpful! Feel free to reach out to me (angie@shipshape.solutions) for help with difficult decluttering challenges.